Honestly, I have never been a high-maintenance woman. In my younger years, I never aspired to have expensive clothes, I didn’t go to the hairdressers after the one time they cut so much hair that I looked like a boy. So, I cut my own hair (which looked pretty messy – but it actually was the style I was going for, so it worked for me), I never went for manicures or pedicures, never had SPA days and never went for massages. I actually thought that only shallow women would do that. And that said shallow women were beautiful and would rely on their beauty. I never saw myself as beautiful or pretty and – thanks to many Hollywood and TV movies – I thought, I would have to be the brainy, nerdy type that prince charming would come and kiss and would turn into a beautiful princess. In other words: I did not feel beautiful enough to earn this treatment. I thought I had to work and achieve in order to be valuable.
But, I know that I am worthy, that I am me. Nobody else has ever been or ever will be me. So, why fight it? I celebrate it – or I have the habit of celebrating me now. It still is work. You cannot change a mindset that has ruled your life forever in a second. But, as a start – I am now religiously going to manicures and pedicures, I get my hair done by my favourite hairdresser in the world, whom I have followed to different salons over the years, and invest in my health. And it makes a difference. Not only do I feel better treating me to these little spa moments, but everyday I see my hands, my hair, my muscles, my skin. I feel confident. I feel like the person I want to be. Before, I was dangling myself in front of myself. You could say. Like the proverbial carrot to the donkey. I would dangle my cared for version in front of me – like: if you have achieved this and that, you are allowed to do a manicure, go to the spa, etc – but I never actually got there. So, I just was fed up with it and just did it.
And it’s a game changer in several ways:
- You cut the vicious cycle of thinking that you need to be more valuable or need to achieve more in order to treat yourself. You know you can get things right away and are allowed to have the things you need and want. Let this become a habit for all of your life.
- Everyday, I get to see myself with the nails and the hair that I thought I would never have. It reinforces my self-image of who I can be – and it no longer is just a fantasy. I know that I can be who I want to be. By simply doing it.
- These little moments of self-care bring with them some peace and rest. They are my little breaks in the hectic everyday with kids. I usually try not to talk too much during these times and enjoy just being silent and enjoying the moment. It’s like meditation for me. Even my sports sessions are treats of meditative calm (even though I do not do yoga). I can concentrate on my body and on how I feel. It’s just fabulous.
Selfcare actually is not optional, I think. To me, selfceare has become an important part of my journey. To ground myself, to enforce my self-image, to feel equipped for life, to feel like myself. If you already have a great self-care routine – PERFECT. If not, try it. Do the things that you thought, you will only be allowed to have or do or enjoy once you have achieved XYZ. Treat yourself like the star that you are. Because, you are the star of your own blockbuster movie of a life. Give yourself the red-carpet treatment.