How you talk about the bad states matters
Reframing might just be the thing to get you out of a negative spiral
Hi, I'm Kat!
What I am most passionate about is to inspire you to see that your life is your own and biggest masterpiece.
Just the other day I had an epiphany when it comes to talking about the things that bug me and how reframing them might just be thing that could change my life.
It was when I said “I am just so tired” to my friend.
And just when I said those words, I got the download what I could change about any situation when reframing.
The reframing would be “I need a nap” or “I need a break”. The effect is actually threefold
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST
Taking negativity out of the equation
If you say things like “I am so tired” or “I am overwhelmed” or even “I am too fat” or whatever phrase you might use in your everyday without really thinking about it – these words don’t exactly spark joy and vibrancy. Tired. Overwhelmed. Fat. Spent. These are all things that your mind will automatically link to more overwhelm and tiredness and just overall negativity. As these phrases also don’t allow for any room of discussion or solution. It’s a definite. It’s a statement that your mind will just equal to absoluteness. Your mind will get stuck. It’s just a negativity loop you get your mind into and you will spiral down more and more as your thoughts progress. Ain’t bueno.
If instead you reframe “I am overwhelmed” to “I need to free up my calendar”, there is no negativity anymore. The negative word is not included anymore. Instead there is a proclamation of an action, something that your mind can get behind because this leaves room for the “how”, the process. This will get your mind going and will not make your mind dwell on all the negativity.
Taking back agency and responsibility
“I am overwhelmed” or “I am tired” are just the worst sentences that you could ever use. Because they describe you. You as a whole are diminished to a state. A negative one on top of that. Does it leave any room for change, for improvement, for agency and action from your side? No! It is a victim mindset that just puts you in the corner, being defined by a feeling.
If instead you reframe “I am tired” to “I need a break”, you take back agency. You are now in charge of getting this solution implemented, of finding the time to do this. You are now the one responsible of taking care of yourself. Also, reframing your overwhelmed or tired state in an action-oriented positive, will force you to listen to your body and your mind. You are not just uttering the words that might come out on autopilot already because you have said them a trillion times before. You really need to listen and ask yourself, so what DO I actually need? What is going on? It forces you to take back control of the situation.
Finding a solution to the situation
needs, will make it easier to actually solve the situation. You are not stuck in a negative spiral of thoughts and feelings, but can actively engage in changing the situation. Because your mind is going to find the answer for whatever you declare you need. This is how the mind works.
So, stop using definite negatives. They ain’t your friends – even though we have grown accustomed to tell each other how stressed and how tired we really are. Although this might be true, let’s all begin to focus on the solution instead.
With all my love!
xx
powered by Borlabs Cookie